Things That Are Tired

1. The Ironic Mustache

Sure, it was funny for about two weeks, but this phenomenon quickly spread across the hipster population to become one of the "culture's" most annoying trends. Or am I not getting some quirky inside joke that fixed-gear riding, non-bathing, non-prescription nerd-glass wearing people get?

2. Facial Hair
 

SHAVE IT OFF. Especially if your beard looks like it smells/resembles pubes/is sans mustache (aka "beard no mustache" or "BNM")/is a different color than the hair on your head/is shaved into a strange, unnatural design that I know you are just doing in an attempt to contour your face/is hiding an excess number of chins.

3. Being Lesbian For Attention

There are few things more pathetic than two girls whose lack of self esteem and physical attractiveness leads them to seek the attention of lame guys in any desperate way they can. AKA making out with each other at parties in the hopes of giving some douche bag a boner. Have some class, girls. Either that or start eating p***y even when guys aren't watching, you posers.

4. Using Your Facebook Status To Inform Everyone Of Your Diet/Exercise Regimen When You Are Not Skinny

I know the woman in this picture is pregnant not fat, but I couldn't find any other pictures when I googled "fat woman eating salad." Anyways, there is something really annoying/lame about people who post Facebook updates like, "Just ate some boiled fish with asparagus and a small salad with vinaigrette" when everyone on their friends list knows they are at least ten pounds overweight. What are they trying to prove by telling people about their ONE healthy meal ever? Do they think this negates the Jumbo Jack they had for breakfast? Or updates like, "Just had a great workout at the gym!" Why do they think anyone cares about their workout that apparently is not doing anything for their weight?

5. Slutty Ghetto Pictures

Unless they were professionally taken and you're wearing a hot outfit, do NOT attempt to take any sexy centerfold pictures. This is just ghetto, hoe-ish, and embarrassing, ladies.

6. "The Hills"

No self-respecting person should ever watch this show. I don't accept the excuse that you just like to watch these terrible people. There are no excuses. Just stop. If you seriously like this show, I have no respect for your taste in anything, and I question you as a human being.

7. Misusing The Word 'Obsessed'

"Obsessed" is the most misused word of the past year. You guys, you aren't REALLY obsessed with Twilight or shoes or truffle oil or Jake Gylenhall. Obsession is, like, serious business, and if you are literally obsessed with any of things, you should seek help immediately.

8. Newfound Yuppie-ism

I'm soooooo over people my age thinking that because now that they're "grown up," it means it's cool to obey the law, listen to NPR, pay their taxes, not do drugs anymore, knit, and have dinner parties where the guests talk about real estate.

9. Fedoras

Fedoras looked cool on Michael Jackson and people in the old days. Now, this hipster trend is so tired that it's spread into regular society and has not been cool for years. A summer fedora for girls is acceptable, but not for guys. A sure-fire way to let the world know you are a douchebag with no style is to rock a fedora.

10. Jumping In The Air Pictures

Tired. Annoying. Myspace circa five years ago.